Where do key rings come from? I doubt anyone even buys them. I doubt factories even make them. They just exist...

Will I be pretty, will I be smart? Here's what she said to me...

"Your arms are the size of an anorexic's thighs."
Thanks, mom.


So I walk out my front door today [and mind you, it has been in at least the 50's the past month] and the snowy wind hits me like a leaf blower stationed atop an iceberg. For a second, it feels like I'm back in REXburg, if I close my eyes and forget the vast amout of foliage Chicago has compared to Idaho. And then I start to slip and slide on the icy porch and 2 flights of stairs I must travel on to get from house to car. This is mostly my fault, as I underestimated the weather and threw on sneakers before I hit the door. Nonetheless, I was still aggrivated. I HATE ice. As a result of this inner fury, I start to think about other things that push my buttons...

Like how I need new windshield wipers, because my current pair skip over a nice patch of glass conveniently in my direct line of sight, yet wipe the passenger side perfectly clear. So I have to crane my head to the right like a flamingo to see the road ahead.

Ppl who txt in lingo: I don't always realize you were trying to say the word "what" when you included a mere "w" in your broken, unpunctuated sentence. Example (literal transcription): "w u doin 2maro" Let's see...oh yeah, I'll still be trying to interpret your message. That's w im doin 2maro.

How the radio plays the same 5 songs over and over....and over: I'm tired of Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and that guy who stole a sample from an Imogen Heap song. Let's move on, people...

Selfish, deliberately mean -but think they're sneaky about it -and then deny it when you confront them- individuals. You're an idiot. With no soul. If you do have a soul, it belongs to satan.

Other little things I don't like:
When I send a long and deep or hilarious text and all I get back is a "yeah" or just one little "lol"
How you can only be sarcastic successfully in person.
People that hover while I'm on the computer or phone. You don't need to know what I'm texting to someone you've never met.
When people try talking to me while they can clearly see I have my earbuds in.
Bees.
When someone furiously passes me in their car, because 5 miles over the speed limit apparently isn't fast enough for them, and then looks back at me like I'm the retarded one.

On a brighter note, here are some things that I DO like:
Falling asleep to a thunderstorm or train.
Singing in my car. Usually to Paramore.
Rolling down hills.
The "pumped" feeling acquired after you walk out of an awesome movie at the theatre.
Random information. Usually about science related things.
Expanding my vocabulary.
The color purple. Not the Oprah musical, just purple.
How weird the word "purple" is when you really think about it.
Owl City.
Having glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.
Inside jokes and quotes.
Someone I will not name.
And lots of other awesome things.


Till next time, kids.