Interweb Gem of the Day.

I love this, because I've witnessed at least half of these first-hand.

"Someone buying beer and diapers." I actually accompanied someone at Wal-Mart while they purchased alcohol...and diapers. Never viewed it as comedic, but it's pretty funny now.

"Obese person using a scooter." These are my favorite. But in my town, they're not just at Wal-Mart. They ride dirty all around the streets of town...right to the traffic stop. Much like a 21st century Frosty the snowman.

Where do key rings come from? I doubt anyone even buys them. I doubt factories even make them. They just exist...

Will I be pretty, will I be smart? Here's what she said to me...

"Your arms are the size of an anorexic's thighs."
Thanks, mom.


So I walk out my front door today [and mind you, it has been in at least the 50's the past month] and the snowy wind hits me like a leaf blower stationed atop an iceberg. For a second, it feels like I'm back in REXburg, if I close my eyes and forget the vast amout of foliage Chicago has compared to Idaho. And then I start to slip and slide on the icy porch and 2 flights of stairs I must travel on to get from house to car. This is mostly my fault, as I underestimated the weather and threw on sneakers before I hit the door. Nonetheless, I was still aggrivated. I HATE ice. As a result of this inner fury, I start to think about other things that push my buttons...

Like how I need new windshield wipers, because my current pair skip over a nice patch of glass conveniently in my direct line of sight, yet wipe the passenger side perfectly clear. So I have to crane my head to the right like a flamingo to see the road ahead.

Ppl who txt in lingo: I don't always realize you were trying to say the word "what" when you included a mere "w" in your broken, unpunctuated sentence. Example (literal transcription): "w u doin 2maro" Let's see...oh yeah, I'll still be trying to interpret your message. That's w im doin 2maro.

How the radio plays the same 5 songs over and over....and over: I'm tired of Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and that guy who stole a sample from an Imogen Heap song. Let's move on, people...

Selfish, deliberately mean -but think they're sneaky about it -and then deny it when you confront them- individuals. You're an idiot. With no soul. If you do have a soul, it belongs to satan.

Other little things I don't like:
When I send a long and deep or hilarious text and all I get back is a "yeah" or just one little "lol"
How you can only be sarcastic successfully in person.
People that hover while I'm on the computer or phone. You don't need to know what I'm texting to someone you've never met.
When people try talking to me while they can clearly see I have my earbuds in.
Bees.
When someone furiously passes me in their car, because 5 miles over the speed limit apparently isn't fast enough for them, and then looks back at me like I'm the retarded one.

On a brighter note, here are some things that I DO like:
Falling asleep to a thunderstorm or train.
Singing in my car. Usually to Paramore.
Rolling down hills.
The "pumped" feeling acquired after you walk out of an awesome movie at the theatre.
Random information. Usually about science related things.
Expanding my vocabulary.
The color purple. Not the Oprah musical, just purple.
How weird the word "purple" is when you really think about it.
Owl City.
Having glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.
Inside jokes and quotes.
Someone I will not name.
And lots of other awesome things.


Till next time, kids.

Mayday Parade is the old Boys Like Girls. Boys Like Girls is the new Jonas Brothers. Got it?

I've been doing so well this past semester. Even with a week long hospital fiasco, I managed to get caught up reasonably fast. So why, the week before finals, do I go back to my old ways? I've always been a procrastinator (major). I do my best work when in a severe time crunch (always). But right now, I'm just apathetic.
Go away, 20 minute Ecology presentation on human population growth in developing countries.
Go away, huge astronomy project on extrasolar planets. (Really....REALLY?)
Go away, French 101 (As a whole. Just go away.) I'll never fully grasp you.

No. I can do it. I have big plans for this life of mine. PLANS. And I'm not going to let irrelevant-to-life projects worth way too many points break me. I will break them. I will break your face, you soul-crushing academic dementors! (That one's for Amanda.)

This year in general has been quite the roller coaster ride, complete with dark tunnels and upside down loops on which you lose your cell phone (always a bummer). I feel like I've been neglecting and treating poorly some of the people I love. But I still care, I just have the attention span and memory of a fruit fly. Hey, you chose me.

I need someone who can keep track of my crap. Not an assistant...like, a dude. You remember where I put my keys every day and what important phone calls I need to make and in return, I will bestow upon you some sort of talent that I may posess. Don't really know what that means yet, but it'll work out.

I also need Dave Ramsey. Honestly, why does someone like myself- who cant even keep track of one bank account- have 3 credit cards. That's like throwing a diabetic into a pool of sour patch kids.

Despite all of this pessimism.. if you know me, you know that I'm generally an enthusiastic and full of life person. Ironic, but I like contradictary things.

Music completes me. Drives my soul. Fuels my life. If music were a substance, it would be oil; smoothly flowing through the factory of my ears, sending sparks through my body and coming out refined in my mood-enlivened as a result.

I guess I'm getting a little more jaded as time passes on. I just need something or someone to help change that.

I'm Mellie, welcome to my life.